Alright, let’s get real for a second. We’ve all got problems. Some are big, some are small—but they all seem to take over our lives, making us feel stressed, anxious, or just plain miserable. So what do we do? We scramble to fix them as fast as possible, hoping that once we’ve handled this one thing, we’ll finally get some peace. But what if I told you that the way you’ve been approaching your problems is completely wrong? What if the actual problem isn’t even what you think it is?
I mean, think about it. If the standard advice of “face your problems head-on” worked so well, why do our problems never seem to end? It’s like a never-ending game of Whac-A-Mole—just when you think you’ve managed to whack one down, another pops up. It’s exhausting, right? That’s because we’re not dealing with the real issue. We’re just slapping band-aids on symptoms.
Here’s the thing: a lot of us, whether we realize it or not, believe that life is supposed to be a struggle. We think we have to fight tooth and nail for everything good, and that the only way to make progress is to push harder. But what if that whole mindset is actually leading us in the wrong direction?
In this article, I’m going to challenge everything you think you know about problems. I’m going to argue that the real issue isn’t what you think it is, and that by shifting your focus, you can discover a way to live that’s not just more fulfilling, but a whole lot less stressful.
Why Our Usual Approach to Solving Problems Doesn’t Work
Let’s kick things off with something most of us can relate to: money problems. Maybe you’re struggling right now, or maybe you’ve been there before. You know the feeling—stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, and that constant knot in your stomach.
When we’re hit with financial trouble, what’s our first instinct? We obsess over it. We crunch numbers, make plans, and worry about every possible scenario. It feels logical, doesn’t it? But this approach usually leads to two big issues:
- Skyrocketing Anxiety and Stress: The more you zero in on the problem, the more intense those negative emotions get.
- No Real Solution: Ironically, the harder you try to fix the problem, the more elusive the solution becomes.
So, why does this happen? It’s pretty simple, actually. When you focus all your energy on a problem—especially one that’s tied to strong emotions like fear or anxiety—you end up amplifying those emotions. They get so overwhelming that they cloud your judgment, making it nearly impossible to see a clear way out.
Albert Einstein once said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” I’d go one step further: “We can’t solve our problems in the same emotional state we were in when we created them.”
The real issue isn’t just that we’re not thinking effectively—it’s that we’re focusing our attention in the wrong place.
What’s Really Causing Your Problems?
Okay, here’s where things get interesting. The problem isn’t that you don’t have enough money, or that your relationships are strained, or that your job is stressing you out. The real problem is your emotional state.
I know, I know—this might sound a little out there, especially if you consider yourself a practical person. But think about it for a second. What’s truly painful about any problem you’re facing? Is it the situation itself, or is it how that situation makes you feel?
Let’s break it down. What makes financial problems so distressing? It’s not just the number on your bank statement—it’s the anxiety, stress, and worry that come with it. No matter what you believe is wrong in your life, the only reason you see it as a problem is because it makes you feel bad.
Now, just imagine for a moment that you could feel completely at peace with your life, no matter what’s happening around you. Would you still feel like you had an urgent problem? The truth is, you can feel peaceful and content even without the things you think you desperately need.
On the flip side, plenty of people have all the material comforts they could want, yet they’re still plagued by anxiety, depression, and stress. This reveals a crucial truth: the root of all problems is dissatisfaction with the way we feel.
So what if the key to solving your problems isn’t about changing your external circumstances, but about changing how you feel?
A New Way to Approach Problem-Solving
I get it—you’re tired of worrying. You’re tired of feeling bad. You’re tired of working so hard to solve your problems only to have new ones crop up.
So, what if, instead of throwing all your mental energy into finding a solution and stewing in your negative emotions, you just… stopped?
What if you shifted your focus away from the problem and put it on something that makes you feel good? Ask yourself how you’d feel if the problem were already solved, and then try to embody that feeling.
Whenever you catch yourself slipping back into worry, gently steer your thoughts back to that positive feeling—whether it’s peace, joy, happiness, or abundance.
If this sounds a little out there, just think about your life for a second. Take the most pressing issue you’re facing right now. How long have you been trying to solve it using the traditional methods? How much suffering have you endured by fixating on this problem for hours on end?
If endless worrying and overthinking were the answer, wouldn’t you have solved the problem by now? Some people spend the majority of their waking hours worrying, yet their problems persist. Isn’t that the real insanity?
Instead, treat this as an experiment. Try a different approach to life. Instead of constantly ruminating on your problems, make it a priority to feel good in the present moment.
Close your eyes and recognize that, right now, everything is okay. Nothing’s wrong. Nothing needs to be done or changed.
Return to this feeling of peace whenever you can. Now, this doesn’t mean you should suppress your emotions—most of us have done that for far too long. Feel your painful emotions, but don’t magnify them by dwelling on them or making them the center of your thoughts.
Worrying can be addictive, so if it’s hard to stop immediately, give yourself 15 minutes a day to actively worry. But for the rest of the day, no worrying allowed—not even about your worries.
As you start to feel better moment by moment, you’ll likely find that you can reduce your worry time to zero.
So, give it a shot. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe your external situation stays the same, but you won’t feel so bad about it anymore.
And honestly, that sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.
But What About Thinking and Reason?
Let’s clear something up—I’m not suggesting you abandon reason or stop thinking altogether.
Thinking is a powerful tool, and reason is what helps us think effectively. The problem isn’t thinking itself; it’s the pointless, repetitive thinking that’s driven by emotions. This kind of thinking is what keeps us stuck in our problems.
Effective thinking is calm, clear, and free from the distorting influence of negative emotions. The reason so many of us struggle with the same problems for years is that our thinking about those problems is fueled by the very emotions that are part of the problem.
So, let’s be rational for a moment.
Which makes more sense: spending a lifetime in anxiety and stress, hoping your problems will eventually disappear so you can finally feel good, or choosing to feel as good as you can right now and living your life from that state?
Worrying is a form of thinking based on negative “what if?” scenarios. It’s a futile exercise that only destroys your well-being. As Terence McKenna aptly put it, “Worry is preposterous.”
Is Action Really the Key?
If you have a problem and you know exactly what action to take to solve it, by all means, take that action.
But if you were so sure about the right course of action, why do you still have the problem?
Here’s an unpopular opinion: action isn’t always the solution.
No amount of external action can compensate for internal misalignment.
This doesn’t mean that action can’t solve problems. What it does mean is that action alone won’t lead to a worry-free existence. You might work hard and achieve financial success despite your fears and worries, but then what? Do you think your mind will suddenly grant you peace?
Unlikely. Instead, you’ll find new things to worry about—losing your money, how to invest it, how to protect it from taxes, and so on. You may solve one problem, only to slide seamlessly into the next.
If action were the ultimate solution, we wouldn’t still be struggling with problems. Look around—people are constantly busy, rushing from one task to the next, yet they don’t seem to be any closer to lasting peace or happiness.
You’re exhausted, aren’t you? So why would the solution be to try even harder?
Maybe the real solution is to hit pause for a moment and ask yourself what you truly want.
Do You Really Want to Be Happy?
Let’s cut to the chase. Deep down, you want to be happy. That’s what it all comes down to, right?
And here’s the thing: happiness is now or never.
Try this thought experiment: imagine you could be happy forever starting right now, but you’d never get the thing you think you need to be happy. You wouldn’t get the mansion, the yacht, the perfect partner, or whatever else you think is essential for your happiness. But you’d be unconditionally happy.
Does that scenario sound appealing? Or does it reveal that what you really want is to be happy with those things?
True happiness isn’t tied to any external condition. It’s a state of being that you can choose, regardless of your circumstances.
So, make a decision. Do you want to be happy only if you get what you think you need, or do you want to be happy no matter what?
Most of us believe that happiness depends on external conditions—that we need everything in our lives to align perfectly before we can be truly happy. This belief is why so many people experience only fleeting moments of happiness.
But here’s the truth: your happiness is the greatest contribution you can make to the world.
When you approach life with this mindset, you’ll find that many problems resolve themselves in ways you couldn’t have predicted.
And if you’re still skeptical or even upset by what you’ve read, let me leave you with one final thought:
Whether or not you believe this approach will solve your problems is beside the point. This is simply an invitation to choose happiness right now and see what changes in your life.